Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
