You made me cry and you don't even care
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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