how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
