When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
