For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
