If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
