And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
