Where did you get a picture of my penis
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
