I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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