At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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