I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
