5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
