You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
