Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
