Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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