He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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