People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
