lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
