The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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