She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
as a side note pls kill me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
