Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
