we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
