The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
