Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
