Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
