I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
