Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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