I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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