Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
