Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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