We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just pee around me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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