i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
