There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
