its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
