Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
