Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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