Don't you send me to vm
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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