He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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