Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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