ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
