I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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