More tranny stories later!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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