i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
