At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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