Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
