You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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