I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize