maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
