I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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