There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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