we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
