I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize