I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
