I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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