some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
