so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
