Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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