and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
