she looked like the before picture.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
