So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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