I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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