I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
